The GI Joe Movie Needs more Flag Pins

[TC]

corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=MDc4YmJmNTY5YzM4YjMxYzEwMDc3NGRlMWYyZjI4Yjc=

Ridiculous politicing aside, the trailers look awesome even if the word on the street is that its a disaster.

[Boz]

No. No. No, and no.

As soon as I saw them put on those ridiculous "accelerator suits," I signed off from this movie completely.

Maybe the Snake Eyes-Storm Shadow parts will be good, but that's about all I am hoping for.

That animated GI Joe on Adult Swim that rosslyn posted here in the Friday Fun Thread is probably about 100 times better than this movie is going to be.

F me. You know I'm going to see it anyway. Stupid me.

[Bando]

Body massage.

That is all I have to say about that.

[strummer8526]

Please tell me that someone else on here was at the Jersey shore over the weekend of the 4th? I was in Ocean Grove (right next to Asbury Park). At about 2:30 in the afternoon, a helicopter started buzzing the shoreline. We were swimming so I didn't have my glasses on, but my friend gave this sort of account:

"What is that helicopter doing? Wait, does it say GI Joe on the side?! It does! I guess it's like a promo thing."

::Five minutes of this helicopter just hovering over about 500 confused swimming people.::

"Wait, is that a ladder? It is a ladder. And here comes some guy. He's just hanging there. Well this seems pointless."

::Five minutes of this helicopter swooping around the beach with a GI Joe-like guy hanging onto a rope ladder.::

"Well that was money well spent. The movie still looks terrible."

[theexorcist]

If Wikipedia is to be believed - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G.I._Joe:_The_Rise_of_Cobra - this movie will be awful, for three main reasons:

1. "Some commentators reviewing previews and promotional art from the film have noted superficial resemblances between it and the action film parody Team America: World Police."

2. "Skip Woods was rewriting the script by March 2007, and he added the Alex Mann character from the British Action Man toy line. Bonaventura explained, "Unfortunately, our president has put us in a position internationally where it would be very difficult to release a movie called G.I. Joe. To add one character to the mix is sort of a fun thing to do."

Some more commentary on this - the initial fan reaction that strummer brought up really comes from this. GI Joe in the 1980s incarnation was marketed throughout its run as a "real American hero" and the original version from the 1960s was "America's fighting man". A director who gave a clumsy justification for dropping the usual tagline and adding another character *from a different series* was not well-received - kind of like "Superman Returns", with the tagline "Truth, Justice, and All That Stuff".

3. "The film focuses on Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord's (Marlon Wayans) induction into the G.I. Joe Team, providing the audience's point-of-view."

Note the characters mentioned.

Note the specific LACK of the most awesome character BY FAR in the GI Joe franchise, possibly the ONLY character in ANY action figure line that was actually COOLER than the bad guys.

[Boz]

Positives about this movie:

Sienna Miller
Ray Park

Negatives about this movie:

Everything else (Marlon freaking Wayans?)

I don't care if I sound like a basement-dwelling fanboy. This Editedes me off. It could have been good.


Much more excited about Peter Jackson's District 9 and James Cameron's Avatar.

[SFHoya99]

The casting director who cast Marlon Wayans should be beheaded.

And I'm not even really a GI Joe fan. But when you watch the preview and only three characters or so are recognizable as GI Joe... I mean, even if they had done it well, it was at best going to be a little worse than Transformers, right?

[theexorcist]

Jul 29, 2009 10:35:34 GMT -5 SFHoya99 said:

The casting director who cast Marlon Wayans should be beheaded.

And I'm not even really a GI Joe fan. But when you watch the preview and only three characters or so are recognizable as GI Joe... I mean, even if they had done it well, it was at best going to be a little worse than Transformers, right?

Transformers was good for 1.5 movies - big robots battling gets kind of repetitive quickly. GI Joe, meanwhile, has a large number of ensemble characters and at least two really bad villains. It could have been a counterpoint to the James Bond franchise, only with a team-based approach and more explosions.

I continue to contend that Snake-Eyes is good for a trilogy on his own.

[TC]

It could be much worse - they could have focused on Sergeant Slaughter or the weird flying aliens from the Himalayas who wanted to take over the world with spores.

By the way - I'm kind of shocked the National Review is panning this - after all GI Joe is the franchise that teaches us that stem cells are evil because they will eventually be used to clone terrorist leaders who zip around on flying Segways.

[hoyatables]

Jul 29, 2009 10:50:35 GMT -5 TC said:

It could be much worse - they could have focused on Sergeant Slaughter . . . .

Fousing on Sergeant Slaughter would have made it AWESOME. Should have been Sergeant Slaughter versus Zartan.

I miss being a kid. (Those who know me will likely point out that I never really grew up.)

[TC]

I wonder if they'll end the movie with "AND THAT'S ONE TO GROW ON! "

Edit : Damn, I screwed up my public service catch phrases, GI Joe was "knowing is half the battle"

[Jack]

Wasn't it always "And knowing is half the battle?"

[Boz]

This movie has so much Dean Devlin written all over it, it wouldn't surprise me if they did do that.

[HoyaSinceBirth]

If the movie doesn't end with a public service announcement I'll be thoroughly disappointed.

[GIGAFAN99]

Jul 29, 2009 6:47:17 GMT -5 strummer8526 said:

Please tell me that someone else on here was at the Jersey shore over the weekend of the 4th? I was in Ocean Grove (right next to Asbury Park). At about 2:30 in the afternoon, a helicopter started buzzing the shoreline. We were swimming so I didn't have my glasses on, but my friend gave this sort of account:

"What is that helicopter doing? Wait, does it say GI Joe on the side?! It does! I guess it's like a promo thing."

::Five minutes of this helicopter just hovering over about 500 confused swimming people.::

"Wait, is that a ladder? It is a ladder. And here comes some guy. He's just hanging there. Well this seems pointless."

::Five minutes of this helicopter swooping around the beach with a GI Joe-like guy hanging onto a rope ladder.::

"Well that was money well spent. The movie still looks terrible."

I'm usually not in the cross-tattoo capital of the world when I go to the shore. But indeed, I was there that day and witnessed this lameness. It was met with a giant "huh? oh." Probably not the reaction they wanted.

[TC]

Saw it, Marlon Wayans was about as bad as could be expected, for some reason the lips in the Snake Eyes mask bugged the hell out of me, the kid from Third Rock was okay, and a lot of stuff blew up.

[jgalt]

Why havent they made a "Captain Planet" movie yet? all those eviro nuts would love it and they could ruin another part of my childhood along the way (You know they would make Suchi talk and Dane Cook would do the voice)

[NickSixers]

Saw this movie last night. It was beyond terrible. Failed to live up to my very low expectations. Only redeeming factor was 2 hours of Rachel Nichols.
Seeing the movie immediately after District 9 really put how bad it is in perspective.