SoCalHoya
Golden Hoya (over 1000 posts)
No es bueno
Posts: 1,313
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Post by SoCalHoya on Oct 21, 2008 17:27:20 GMT -5
Just FYI, salsa means sauce in Spanish. So, if sauces are condiments...
Also, there are thousands of varieties of salsa, and at least hundreds of different mustards, too. However, many of those mustards are French (not French's), and maybe therefore un-American? You decide.
One of these days, Mexican mole (mol-eh) will be as popular in the US as it is in Mexico. And we will all be happier for it.
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Post by AustinHoya03 on Oct 21, 2008 17:29:41 GMT -5
Clearly, mustard is the only acceptable hot dog condiment.
What has not yet been discussed is that it is also the only acceptable hamburger condiment. Anyone who places ketchup, or the vile combination of egg yolks, oil, and vinegar known as mayonnaise upon their ground beef patty should be shot.
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Post by strummer8526 on Oct 21, 2008 17:54:04 GMT -5
Clearly, mustard is the only acceptable hot dog condiment. What has not yet been discussed is that it is also the only acceptable hamburger condiment. Anyone who places ketchup, or the vile combination of egg yolks, oil, and vinegar known as mayonnaise upon their ground beef patty should be shot. This is the kind of anti-condiment extremism that is just divisive and not what our dietary system needs right now. We need someone who can bring everyone together around common ideals, not make off-the-cuff comments about "killing" those with whom you have disagreement. That's the old and failed condiment policy. But conversely, we also need to move away from this notion of free condiments, unregulated dressings, put what you want on burgers and hope that delicious taste trickles down to the average burger-eater. It just hasn't worked, and we've ended up in this mess where people put mayo on burgers because of it.
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Bando
Golden Hoya (over 1000 posts)
I've got some regrets!
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Post by Bando on Oct 21, 2008 17:57:35 GMT -5
As long as we are getting down to the nitty-gritty, let me add my words of wisdom. I don't think you can use such simple descriptions of something as complex as mustard. At the very least, there are 2 drastically different mustards -- each one, no less a mustard than the other -- and most of us would probably recognize even more than the two. First we have standard old yellow mustard. French's, another name brand or generic doesn't really matter. Brown mustard is entirely different. Whether you are a "Grey Poupon" guy or a "Goulden's" type of person, doesn't really matter a great deal. While we each likely have our preferences, suffice it to say that the real distinction comes not between the two, but rather from either of the two with the afforementioned yellow mustards. That being said, I would just as soon spill half of my beer as be forced to have yellow mustard. I can honestly say that I could go the rest of my life without missing yellow mustard. But spicy brown mustard is an entirely different element. What exactly is a Brat without spicy brown mustard? It's a sin; that's what it is. Having said that, I will admit to what many others consider an equal sin: putting ketchup on my brats as well. So I guess I come in somewhere in the middle here. I see no reason that ketchup and spicy brown mustard can't coexist on hotdogs and yes, even on brats. Secondly, SinceBirth, I am from the south. Therefore, ketchup doesn't go on eggs. It's really that simple. Yankees are in virtually universal opposition to that position. I don't really see that as a "personal opinion" type of thing as much as it is a matter of fact, based on where you are. When I travel to the north, I understand that ketchup goes on eggs. All I ask is when you stinking yankees come down here, speak our language as well. In a sense, maybe it is kind of like taking off your shoes at the front door of a Japanese family's house. It's just "what you do." Lastly, I don't exactly know what this "half-smoke" is, but as someone who has been known to enjoy certain things which are smoked, what do you do with the other half? I might be interested. I'm going to have to wholly concur with your preference for brown mustard over yellow mustard. I really have no idea why anyone would ever use the yellow stuff. As for a half-smoke, it's a type of sausage made in the DC area, the best of which is probably at Ben's Chili Bowl. This article from the CityPaper probably explains it best.
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FormerHoya
Golden Hoya (over 1000 posts)
Posts: 1,262
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Post by FormerHoya on Oct 21, 2008 18:24:20 GMT -5
If we allow ketchup on hot dogs, where does it stop? Ketchup on a Polish? Ketchup on an Italian? Ketchup on God's perfect food, the Bratwurst? This is blasphemy of the worst sort.
Jack - I forgot to set you on fire this past weekend for your earlier football comments. This is a mistake I will not make again. Be prepared to be set on fire. Twice.
(I can't believe I missed this thread for this long.)
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Boz
Blue & Gray (over 10,000 posts)
123 Fireballs!
Posts: 10,355
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Post by Boz on Oct 21, 2008 18:25:33 GMT -5
Hamish: "Where are you going?" Boz: "I'm goin' to pick a fight!"
Friends, Hoyas, countrymen, I want you to know that I hesitated long and thought hard before making this post. It is not lightly that I enter into these murky waters soon to run red with the blood of Hoyatalk partisans. Many people will not like what I have to say at this point. And I am sorry for the bloodshed of my brothers that is nigh inevitable after the forthcoming revelation.
But the stakes here are truth, honor and our very gastrointestinal integrity. There are none higher, my friends.
So, at the risk of igniting Hoyatalk-wide Biotoxic and Chemical Warfare, I regretfully, but with sureness in my heart, make the following proclamation:
Ben's Chili Bowl?
Most overrated vile slop EVER! In the entire Washington metropolitan area. Perhaps on the entire East Coast.
There. It's out. It cannot be taken back, nor would I wish it so, though the dogs of war may dine on our vitals as consequence, my actions are just, my motives pure.
God help us all for what I have done, but I cannot remain silent on this issue.
Or, as Martin Sheen once said: "Gentlemen....The missiles are flying. Hallelujah! Hallelujah!"
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TC
Platinum Hoya (over 5000 posts)
Posts: 9,459
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Post by TC on Oct 21, 2008 18:28:03 GMT -5
If we allow ketchup on hot dogs, where does it stop? Ketchup on a Polish? Ketchup on an Italian? Ketchup on God's perfect food, the Bratwurst? This is blasphemy of the worst sort. Separate but equal is inherently unequal!
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Bando
Golden Hoya (over 1000 posts)
I've got some regrets!
Posts: 2,431
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Post by Bando on Oct 21, 2008 18:34:54 GMT -5
Hamish: "Where are you going?"Boz: "I'm goin' to pick a fight!"Friends, Hoyas, countrymen, I want you to know that I hesitated long and thought hard before making this post. It is not lightly that I enter into these murky waters soon to run red with the blood of Hoyatalk partisans. Many people will not like what I have to say at this point. And I am sorry for the bloodshed of my brothers that is nigh inevitable after the forthcoming revelation. But the stakes here are truth, honor and our very gastrointestinal integrity. There are none higher, my friends. So, at the risk of igniting Hoyatalk-wide Biotoxic and Chemical Warfare, I regretfully, but with sureness in my heart, make the following proclamation: Ben's Chili Bowl? Most overrated vile slop EVER! In the entire Washington metropolitan area. Perhaps on the entire East Coast. There. It's out. It cannot be taken back, nor would I wish it so, though the dogs of war may dine on our vitals as consequence, my actions are just, my motives pure. God help us all for what I have done, but I cannot remain silent on this issue. Or, as Martin Sheen once said: "Gentlemen....The missiles are flying. Hallelujah! Hallelujah!" Blasphemer! All these years, and Boz turns out to be a jumbo slice apologist. It's sad, really. Now, ready the torture implements, we have a heretic to punish.
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Boz
Blue & Gray (over 10,000 posts)
123 Fireballs!
Posts: 10,355
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Post by Boz on Oct 21, 2008 18:42:16 GMT -5
I have gird my body for battle and prepared my soul for judgment. I shan't retreat. Forth the valiant!
FIRE VOLLEY ONE: I can get a better chili dog at 7-11!
FIRE VOLLEY TWO: I can get a better half-smoke at a French restaurant!
Ben's is a disease. It must be wiped out.
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SirSaxa
Silver Hoya (over 500 posts)
Posts: 747
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Post by SirSaxa on Oct 21, 2008 18:44:22 GMT -5
Friends, Hoyas, countrymen, I want you to know that I hesitated long and thought hard before making this post. It is not lightly that I enter into these murky waters soon to run red with the blood of Hoyatalk partisans. Boz.... once again you reveal your limited perspective based on your partisan red state blinders. Perhaps your fellow red staters share the physical trait to which you refer. But really, Everyone knows that TRUE Hoya's blood runs BLUE!
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Post by williambraskyiii on Oct 21, 2008 18:44:55 GMT -5
you guys are uber geeks
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EasyEd
Platinum Hoya (over 5000 posts)
Posts: 7,272
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Post by EasyEd on Oct 21, 2008 18:48:29 GMT -5
Heartland America prefers yellow mustard; elite east (west) coast snobs prefer Grey Poupon.
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SFHoya99
Blue & Gray (over 10,000 posts)
Posts: 17,791
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Post by SFHoya99 on Oct 21, 2008 19:13:01 GMT -5
Heartland America prefers yellow mustard; elite east (west) coast snobs prefer Grey Poupon. But of course! Trickle down condiment policy doesn't work because only cheap condiments actually trickle down. Higher quality condiments -- those with a low concentration of water -- simply never trickle down.
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Elvado
Platinum Hoya (over 5000 posts)
Posts: 6,080
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Post by Elvado on Oct 21, 2008 19:15:45 GMT -5
However, true independent thinkers enjoy spicy brown, even though it is most popular in NYC.
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Boz
Blue & Gray (over 10,000 posts)
123 Fireballs!
Posts: 10,355
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Post by Boz on Oct 21, 2008 19:52:41 GMT -5
Awww, why you gotta ruin my fun, Saxa? As for you, brasky.....
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ichirohoya
Silver Hoya (over 500 posts)
Posts: 535
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Post by ichirohoya on Oct 21, 2008 21:56:48 GMT -5
Wow. Thank you all for a glorious thread.
Also, props to TBird for a fantastic Simpsons reference that was lost in the middle of this fantastic thread.
Anyone who succeeds in putting a Ben's Chili Bowl in Honolulu will get my vote.
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hifigator
Platinum Hoya (over 5000 posts)
Posts: 6,387
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Post by hifigator on Oct 22, 2008 1:21:12 GMT -5
Wow, I just might have found an "appropriate" thread for the present ... given my current inebriation.
(as an aside: it sure is good -- at least for me, on my end) -- to have my computer back)
In all -- or at the very, very least some -- seriousness, I must attempt to reply to a couple of specific points:
C2C wrote:
There are many non-traditional condiments becoming increasingly important in the American socio-political food economy today. Take salsa. Is salsa a food or a condiment? How about hummus? Bleu-cheese dressing?
"Salsa" is a food. For those who don't agree -- provided you don't 'dislike' salsa, since that would invalidate your opinion -- wouldn't you agree that the "best" chip in the world, is still "only" a really good chip. While really good salsa alone makes you -- wow, not a Star Trek reference -- "seek out new civilizations ... (and) boldly go where no man has gone before ...," in search of even a bad chip, no doubt. (I'm sure some of that punctuation is wrong, but local punctuation police are on strike.) The point is that while truly great salsa is deserving of an equally, high-quality chip, if the salsa is good enough then even a slightly stale tostito will do in a pinch. In that regard, it would seem that the "salsa" might be the hotdog/brat/burger etc... while the chip is merely the bun and/or condiment.
SinceBirth wrote:
Hifi this is exactly your problem. you lack tolerance for other view points. no one's forcing you to put ketchup on your eggs, but i should have the freedom to put ketchup on my scrambled eggs whether i'm in an IHOP outside of Boston or in a Waffle house outside of atlanta.
Without bothering with the details, if my glaring "problem" is that you want kethup on your eggs outside of Atlanta, then I consider myself a lucky man.
At the risk of embarrassing myself ... oops, too late ...
In all seriousness, I do think that sometimes things like ketchup on eggs is more akin to "custom" than preference. I don't want to get too deep into such an irrelevant topic, but do you at least see my point? While some people "like" pepper, others don't. While some people "like" salt, others don't. For that matter, some, though "liking" salt, decide otherwise for health/blood pressure reasons. Absolving away from the health issue, I do think that ketchup on eggs is almost a "learned" trait from socio-economic forces ... damn, did I say that now? I need to go to bed.
Lastly ... Austin wrote:
... or the vile combination of egg yolks, oil, and vinegar known as mayonnaise upon their ground beef patty should be shot.
Can I quote you one that? It is amazing how many 100% anti Mayo friends that I have. Personally, I am not a big fan either -- certainly not on either a dog or a burger -- but I am at least reassured, that the almost obsessive, compulsive nature which more than a few of my friends have, is not unique to "us uneducated, back-wood hicks." Maybe they's still a little hope for us rednecks after all?
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rosslynhoya
Diamond Hoya (over 2500 posts)
Posts: 2,595
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Post by rosslynhoya on Oct 22, 2008 7:16:43 GMT -5
If we allow ketchup on hot dogs, where does it stop? Ketchup on a Polish? Ketchup on an Italian? Ketchup on God's perfect food, the Bratwurst? This is blasphemy of the worst sort. If you order a double brat with da works, it comes with ketchup. This is indisputable, and you betray your naievete of such worldly matters by insisting otherwise. Let me guess, "you can see Johnsonville from your porch" eh?
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Cambridge
Platinum Hoya (over 5000 posts)
Canes Pugnaces
Posts: 5,304
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Post by Cambridge on Oct 22, 2008 10:32:44 GMT -5
If we allow ketchup on hot dogs, where does it stop? Ketchup on a Polish? Ketchup on an Italian? Ketchup on God's perfect food, the Bratwurst? This is blasphemy of the worst sort. If you order a double brat with da works, it comes with ketchup. This is indisputable, and you betray your naievete of such worldly matters by insisting otherwise. Let me guess, "you can see Johnsonville from your porch" eh? Your "Location" pretty much eliminates any legitimacy you had in a discussion of what is American eating, you pinko bastard.
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Post by Coast2CoastHoya on Oct 22, 2008 10:46:51 GMT -5
Hey SoCal -- so on the side of my Tapatio bottle where it says "es una salsa....muy salsa!" it means "it's a sauce ... very sauce!" literally and something like "it's a very saucy sauce!"? Nice.
Boz, you just lost my vote. Viva Ben's. On the bright side, at least you didn't spew some blasphemy about Five Guys being better than IN-and-OUT (which, incidentally, has the best burger condiment of all: the IN-and-OUT special sauce).
My friends, the time has come to recognize this thread for what it is: a lot of hot air and ideas without experience. Now, I've been in the condiment trenches for decades. My six, er, eight, er, many refrigerators and pantries...I can never keep track of how may...are filled with ketchups, mustards, BBQ sauces, hot sauces, salsas, bruchetta topping, relishes made from many different vegetables, that red pepper stuff from Whole Foods, oils, vinegars, mayonnaise (regular and safflower), peanut sauce, and general tso's. I spent years on the Hilltop and the Capitol Hill living off nothing but condiments. My friends, you should have seen the combinations I've made all in the name of ultimately serving the condiment-gobbling public: peanut butter, mayonnaise, and hot sauce on wheat; fake crab meat, olive oil, and that red pepper stuff on a torilla; I even once made a white bread, yellow mustard, and kim chi sandwhich while living in Alumni Square. But I always kept my principles: I never stooped so low as to eat SPAM or to deny another American the right to choose his or her condiment for themself---and unlike many in my party, I support a person's right to ketchup on a dog. Our friends in Los Angeles wouldn't imagine being able to eat their footlong Dodger dogs without that most-American of tomatoey dressings. That, my friends, is why you should vote for me in 2012. I've been there and eaten every possible condiment combination in existence. In fact, a very member of this HoyaTalk board has called me the Condiment King. When the phone rings at 3am and you need advice about what to put on your Jumbo Slice, Julia Empanadas, Ben's Chilli Bowl, Manny & O's, or any other late-night food place that requires an additional slathering of sauce, you want me to be answering that call; I've got more condiment combination experience and judgment than a bartender who only makes bloody marys. So my friends, I say to you: choose experience. Choose judgment. Choose Coast2Coast in 2012.
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