Isiah Thomas fired from Knicks

[moe09]

Even though this isn't really news, as it should've been done long, long ago, I figured I'd put this up here for discussion. The only problem is that Isiah is still part of the Knicks franchise with "no official title." I really think if the Knicks want to go in a different direction they have to completely rid themselves of the virus that has become Isiah Thomas, but then again, what do I care...

sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3353483

[showcase]

NEW YORK—Ousted Knicks coach and president Isiah Thomas, who presided over the team during one of the least successful and most shameful periods in its history, held a press conference Wednesday to announce that his four-year legacy of abysmal team chemistry, bloated payrolls, sex scandals, and simple losing was actually a vast psychological experiment carried out on New York City as a whole.

"Congratulations, New York—I've discovered you are healthier, more resilient, and stronger than anyone would have believed," Thomas told reporters assembled to see him clean out his office, file his final report to the National Institute of Mental Health, and debrief the players and coaches who had unwittingly assisted his efforts. "Although there are indications you also have deep-seated anger issues, misplaced feelings of entitlement, and tend to live vicariously through others, overall I'm very pleased with you, and I am confident you'll come out of this a much stronger city."

"I'm a bit worried, though, that you let this experiment go on as long as it did before standing up for yourselves and making it stop," Thomas added. "I had only planned for it to last a year. New Yorkers may want to work on their assertiveness in the future."

...


Thomas worked alongside behavioral psychologists with an extensive knowledge of domestic-abuse patterning, aversion dynamics, the works of B. F. Skinner, and long-term mass hysteria to assemble a comprehensive testing program. An experiment consisting of a regimen of slowly increasing stress levels and traumatic events was designed, refined, and eventually performed upon New York City and Knicks fans everywhere.

"I knew that bringing in as many ball-hogs as possible, especially Stephon Marbury, would create a feeling of isolation and abandonment in the greater metropolitan area's 11 million residents," Thomas said. "And by assembling a team that consistently ranked dead last in the NBA in assists, I created a symbolic analogue for the helpless desolation of the modern urban experience that was designed to heterodyne in New York's collective psyche, prompting frequent and perhaps even violent reactions."

[RDF]

Did you know that Billy King is up for the GM position of the Knicks? I'm dead serious. Remember King was with Walsh in Pacer organization prior to being the moron who screwed up the Sixers.