All time Benson Era Quotes

[njhoya]

This stuff is hilarious! I hope you guys keep'em coming.

[3706R]

Benson on believing if one of the underclassmen would remerber his assignment on a play duirng practice:

"I wouldn't trust that kid with my wallet if he stole it!"

[wedge]

Questioning some doofus who came to pratcie with a haircut.....
"You goin' with that hairgame??!!"

On a bus ride home from a loooooong road trip to Canisius. The only movie left was some freakin Mortal Combat that TC brought -- arguably the worst movie ever!!. Benson didn't know it was TC's and about 4 minutes into the movie, he goes "Who the f#$% brought this f@#%ing horsesh!t!!???" Then, a voice that is purely unique to TC you hear, "Oh, that's mine, Coach. The fight scenes are sweet." Wedge starts laughing his a$$ off and Benson goes. "Great let's fast forward to the fight scenes."

[Ro]

Then TC's classic..."Who don't like Mortal Kombat? Mortal Kombat is the best movie ever!"

Was anyone lucky enough to have Benson for the "Man to man talk" given in freshman dorms during orientation? I'd put his hour of discussing STD's, safe sex, proper treatment of women, and personal responsibilities in a class of comedy that could only possibly be rivaled by Eddie Murphy's "Delirious" or Chris Rock's first HBO special "Bring Da Pain".

The one line I remember most was one on the importance of condoms - "It's no joke these days. If you don't use one you'll get something really bad and I really don't even want to think about the painful and disgusting things that you'll expose yourself to. In my day all we had to worry about was crabs, and who really cares about that? Hop in the shower, scrub a little, and you're good to go."

[frmmahoya]

Here are a couple:

Speaking to Craffey running up to an AM practice late while wearing bright red tazmanian devil socks: "What the F*&%, You better just turn on around and keep running back to your house because I told you never to wear those God Damn socks again!" - Craffy does not break stride and runs back to Burleith.

"All you fu*&^ng Freshman will understand that you are going to go to every God Damn freshman orientation meeting you have to go to. You must understand that, for these people, this is their Fu*&*ng Super Bowl. They sit around all year and think of ice cream games for you to play so you can get to know each other and I do not want to talk to anyone that has to tell me that you were not there."

[hoya34]

The most awkward moment, which no one has mentioned was the crying meltdown that occurred after we lost to Canisius in '95. Hands down this was the strangest thing I witnessed from Bob over the four years I was at GU (with the excpetion of the senior bbq where we played full contact cups in his garage until 2am then brought chicks back to his house - and people said he was too close to the players) I had never seen a coach cry before and i really didn't get it until recently. He had basically put his livelihood and the financial success of his family into the hands of a bunch of 20 yr olds who's priorities centered around getting to Winston's on wednesday night for the Paul Uppole drink-a-thon and figuring out how to have sex with a slutty football groupie without your friends finding out. No wonder he went mental when we took an eleven hour bus ride to Buffalo and lost to that bunch of slapdicks, but put Happy Gilmore on the TV before we even left the Canisius parking lot.

[frmmahoya]

"I have no idea why I even fu*&^ng recruited you. I should have just let you go to Harvard."

"How did you get into this school and why haven't you ever let go of the god damn backwoods of PA. Look at your clothes. You look like one of those f*&^^&ng granola eating hippies, 'Hey man, look at me. All I do is just smoke a bunch of weed.' Jesus Christ, have you even made one correct alingment in this film. Maybe I should just start smoking a bunch of weed with you. Just light one up right now."

[Ro]

Along the same lines of Craffey's socks...

During the afternoon session of camp we just about done with the after practice sprints. Benson then takes a look at the tee shirt that Brett Diamond is wearing and yells out...

"TOM PETTY WORLD TOUR?!?!!? ON THE END LINE!!!"

[happerot79]

"chicklets, now that is a good piece of chewing gum"

after watching dazed and confused on a long bus trip

"what the hell was that"

[FormerHoya]

"My brother's a F'n outlaw. He don't pay taxes, he don't cut his hair, he don't answer to anybody..."

I never really figured out what his brother had to do with any conversation that he was brought up in.

Also...

"'Turn the Page,' just listen to that song. You think you got problems, that's one sad F'er right there I'll tell you."

[3706R]

Player quotez:

"Who ya wit? GGGGGGGGG-----Towwwwwwwnn"


During hipflexor streaches:

"Poolside!"

[VelvetElvis]

During PAT drills during a night practice:

kick gets blocked after a half-hearted effort by the scout team

Coach Halloran: "Heath Traver, you're as worthless as ---- on a Bull!!!"

Heard many times:

Coach Halloran: "GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF ---, DONNY GARRETT!"

Context: film session in coaches offices after Ozeranic let one fly

Coach Halloran: "Who da ---- --- their pants?!?!?!?!"

Edited. Keep it clean.--Admin.

[hoya34]

C'mon now, Coach Hal quotes could be a whole 'nother column:

"If you guys would just win a few games, you'd be swimmin in [word for kitten]"

[VelvetElvis]

Benson in team meetings after the previously mentioned loss to Canisius in B-LO:

"I haven't been in that many huddles, but I know that the F------ QUARTERBACK IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE TALKING.

[wedge]

Coach Hal -- after a 3-4 start to a season. "You guys need to get yourselves back to 4-4........400%." The collective blank stares that filled that room --- truly unimaginable.

I was in the office one time when Coach Benson was ripping Gabe Tenibnaum on the phone because Gabe had filled out the paperwork to make himself eligible for the NFL draft and Coach kept getting phone calls from NFL teams requesting film on Gabe. Mind you, Gabe quit the football team after his sophomore year and this is now at least a year later. I can't even remember what Benson said to him, but it contained approximately 427 f-bombs. Absolutely brilliant move by Gabe.

[hoya34]

Coach Hal - couldn't spell "bus pass" - I'm not joking.

[VelvetElvis]

I am stretching the theme here, but what the f! It was Marist week and we were getting the game plan when Ozeranic starts giggling uncontrollably and coach hal goes, "Oz, what the F is wrong with you?!?!" Ozeranic's response??? "Coach, his name is Olb Maury!"

Marist had an Outside Linebacker named Maury Wilkes and, of course, next to his name was his position - OLB Maury Wilkes. Ozzy sincerely thought the guy's name was Olb Maury Wilkes! Classic!

[hoya34]

Marist did have some strange named players. There was Ilb Daniels and SS Johnston. Give Oz a break, we busted his balls over that OLB thing for like 3 years. He deserves a break.

[fmrhoya]

What about "CMOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNN BEAST!!!!"

[atrain6]

How about football initiations? Are we allowed to discuss those? I know my class was sworn to secrecy about the events that took place....but there has to be a ton of funny crap to come out of those.