Your "I Hate X Group in DC" elitism for today

I am confident that I will never run into anyone responsible for this nonsense, as Mr. Smiths is completely and utterly lame.


Georgetown students hang out there? Man, times have changed, I guess.

This is an interesting point bin, and one which I will use, of course, to spin the subject of this thread off into a wild tangent.

[Because (a) that's what I do; (b) the people who wrote these vile things about Georgetown students don't deserve any more attention than they've already received; and (c) I am leaving for London tomorrow and I am in complete shut-down mode at the office and don't feel like working]

Happy Hour vs. Night Out....personally, I think there is a tremendous difference.

I am actually not a big happy hour person, never have been. For starters, I am more of a night owl and, contrary to self-righteous sportswriters who always say that "nothing good ever happens at 3 a.m.," I am of the staunch opinion that nothing good ever really begins until about 1 a.m. (midnight maybe).

Secondly, while it was a little different in college, since I have been a worker bee, I find that I need some down time after work before going out. I've never been able to just leave the office or gym and head straight to a happy hour. Even in college, I wasn't a huge happy hour proponent (light wallet and drink specials notwithsanding), mainly because I lack stamina. If I start going out at 5 or 6 p.m., I am going to be done by around 11 p.m., which -- as I have mentioned -- is well before the best part of the night usually begins.*

(*Second semester senior year of college is a different story altogether; there is no going to bed second semester senior year....ever)

So, having said all of that, I did then and do go now to a happy hour on the infrequent occasion.

I think that what makes a good happy hour bar is completely different than what makes a good night spot.

A happy hour bar really needs only a couple of key ingredients. The aforementioned drink specials are nice, not an essential, but they do make it nice. Food specials? I can take 'em or leave 'em (the food usually sucks anyway). Happy hour bars need to be well staffed, much more so than night spots. Roomy is good, televisions are much more important than music, and if it can be in an outdoor venue, then I'm pretty....well, happy.

While I think Mr. Smiths lacks a number of those ingredients, as a college student, I can see how two rails for $4 would be all the enticement I would need to go there. (In my day it was 2-for-1 pints at Garrett's. Sometimes Uno's for the free pizza.)

I think Pentagon City is the epitome -- in this area -- of good happy hour bars. Georgetown waterfront succeeds on many levels but fails miserably in terms of being way too overcrowded (and drinks are too pricey for happy hour).

So that's happy hours.

On the other hand, I think the criteria for a good night spot are completely different. Or at least, some of the criteria may be similar, but the prioritization of those criteria is a little different.

Affordable drinks, good service, nice space, outdoor venue, these are all ingredients in a good night spot, but they're not the most important ones. The very top criteria for any night spot are two and two only: Namely music and girls. You don't always have to have both, but you'd better have at least one of those two. (The best places will have both, of course.) Mr. Smiths, IMO, has neither.

A piano bar is not music. A piano bar is, at best, a live version of Musak. Once upon a time, there were bands that played upstairs at Mr. Smiths (not sure if they still do that), but never anyone particularly talented. As for the second criteria, well they're usually older than me, even at today's standards. That's never a good thing.

The Clarendon bars do pretty well in criteria #2, but are pretty awful at providing anything but the lamest of cookie cutter cover music. U Street or H Street NE in D.C., on the other hand, accomplish the music part quite well, but....well, I'll leave it at that so as not to offend too much.

I think the best combination for me used to be Garrett's. I haven't been there in several years, but there was a time when I'd be there every weekend. The drinks were cheap, bartenders friendly, music was good and the ladies were very, very nice. Maybe it's still like that, I don't know, as I've resigned myself to the fact that I am, now and always, way too old to hang out there anymore, except for a special occasion or private party.

But the 9:30 Club remains my favorite place to go. First, I go when I know who's playing, so I can guarantee that I will like the music. Second, no matter who is playing, there is always some nice scenery.

There are many others of course, but I'll leave it to the board if you want to offer your favorites, here in DC or elsewhere.


So. What have we learned here today?

First, I have probably offended all of the female Hoyatalkers with my objectification criterion. Sorry about that, but I'd be lying if I said otherwise.

Second, it is patently obvious that I refuse to ever grow up (or stop splitting my infinitives) and lead a responsible life. I have seen my future and it is bleak...but I'm sorta' OK with that -- pathetic as it may sound to those of you still in your twenties.

And finally, Mr. Smiths still sucks, now and forever.

The 9:30 Club is really one of the best venues I've been to in any of the places I've lived. I love the two levels, I love the bar setup, I love that there's not many line of sight obstructions (vs. the old F street location where you had to get there early so you didn't get stuck behind the godawful columns). Why they renamed that place the 9:30 Club I'll never know though - it's kind of like opening PNC Park and calling it Candlestick.